Added: Joanie Sloane - Date: 09.04.2022 04:32 - Views: 11551 - Clicks: 2656
But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a d sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. Q: My boyfriend likes to joke about role-playing, but I think he actually wants to try it out. I like the idea of role-playingbut the thought of doing it in real life freaks me out a little bit. A: Role-playing can be a ton of fun, but it can also bring up a lot of anxiety. The concerns that you mention are the ones I hear most often. Most people are intrigued by the idea of role-playing, but worried about looking like an idiot.
Here are some easy role-play scenarios to consider. Read over this list and take a moment to visualize you and your boyfriend playing these roles try reversing the roles in each scenario too! See which ones grab your attention more than others.
You can get even more ideas by thinking about your childhood fantasies. What scenarios seemed erotic to you when you were growing up? Did you have a crush on your swim instructor or math tutor? Or maybe you dreamed about being a cheerleader? Some people find the idea of acting out specific roles unappealing, and newbies to role-playing can be too intimidated by the thought of having to do a lot of acting.
You can pretend to be strangers who have never met before. That way, you still get to be yourself. Or you can trying playing with power dynamics instead. One person gets to be the boss and have complete control, while the other person has to be submissive and follow instructions. Once you have a few fantasies in mind, talk about them with your boyfriend. If you feel shy about initiating this conversation, here are a few ways to bring it up while minimizing embarrassment:.
Show him the same sensitivity that you would want him to have for your fantasies. You can role-play with just your words, or with costumes and props. Who would you like to play, what actions would you want to take, when are you going to do the role-play, and where are you going to do it? He might have some ideas about how he wants you to introduce yourself to him or how he could end up bringing you back to his place, but you could chip in with some suggestions for a meeting place.
In fact, you may find it less intimidating to ad-lib a simple scenario in the moment instead of planning everything out beforehand. Make sure you and your boyfriend communicate about your sexual boundaries. A special note about rape fantasies: Rape is one of the most common role-play fantasies. Make sure you have an iron-clad safeword in place, and talk in detail about the behaviors that are on or off the table.
Above all, have fun during the planning process. You may also find that discussing the details of your fantasies ends up being just as sexy as the actual role-play itself! A lot of the fun of role-playing is in the anticipation, so try to draw things out for a while and tease each other. If you say something silly, just laugh together and keep going. Acknowledging awkwardness is a lot easier than trying to pretend nothing happened.
Focus on the things that you liked or would like to explore more. Images: BeyonceVevo ; Giphy. By Vanessa Marin. Here are some foolproof steps for enjoying your first role-playing experience.
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