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This article was written by Gail Belsky and provided by our partners at Prevention. Does your sex life need a makeover? Here's your chance to brush up. From sex myths to sexual etiquette to health-boosting bedroom tips, these are the truths about sex every woman should know.
He Doesn't Care if You've Shaved. It doesn't even cross his mind. Wide Beats Long Every Time. If you care at all about penis size and studies show that women are far more into how penises look than how they're hungyou know that width matters more than length. All the Girls Are Doing It. Masturbating, that is. In a survey by AARP, nearly half the women between the ages of 45 and 49 said they had taken matters into their own hands in the 6 months. And many women have used more than just their hands.
In a survey by the University of Indiana, more than half the respondents had used a vibrator at least once, and nearly one in four had used one in the month. The pros know it, too. Here are 18 sex toys sex therapists love —and use themselves. He Likes the Cuddling Part So what does than mean for men? Oxytocin boosts their desire for intimacy, along with their feelings of trust, according to a study by the University of Zurich.
And in this case, what's good for the gander is good for the goose.
Want to increase your cuddling power? Here are 10 science-backed ways to boost oxytocin levels. The longer a man's ring finger, the longer his penis, a study by University of Liverpool shows. Both are determined by the amount of testosterone he was exposed to in the womb.
If his ring finger is the same size or smaller than his index finger, he received lower levels of testosterone. If it's bigger It's Worth a Try. Variety is the spice of life Whether you do it in a hammock or an airplane; on the kitchen floor or in the shower; dressed in leather or in lace, if it's new, it's improved. Get a little wild with these 11 new sex positions.
Porn Is Hot. The idea that women take longer to get aroused just isn't true. Show us some skin and we're off and running. In a study, women who watched porn got turned on as quickly as men did. Using thermal imaging technology, researchers at McGill University in Montreal found that while watching porn, men became fully aroused in Say Ohh Instead of Ohm. Craving the calm you get from yoga? Go for an orgasm instead. You feel relaxed after climaxing because you were practically brain-dead while you were doing it.
Using scans to measure brain activity, researchers from the Netherlands found that women experience no emotions during orgasm—including fear, anxiety and stress. When you're in the throes, there's no worrying about the kids' report cards, the weekly grocery list or the pile of bills on your desk. But it's a chicken and egg situation: The only way to reach orgasm is to clear your head of that stuff to begin with. Faking It: Pointless. Showing him what you like: brilliant. It's Better with Your Socks on. If your sex life isn't hot, it may be because you're cold. Research from the Netherlands shows that couples with cold feet had a harder time reaching orgasm—only 50 percent made it.
When couples put on socks, the jumped to 80 percent.
Check out these 5 more tips to make sure you get there every time. Honesty: Not Always the Best Policy. So you've thought about cheating—maybe even stolen a kiss or snuck out for coffee. Should you confess to make up for it? No way. Coming clean only inflicts pain on your partner and damages his sense of trust. If you want to protect him and keep your relationship going, swallow your guilt and keep your mouth shut. Love Is in the Air The musky smell of male sweat can be a real turn-on for women. In a study from the University of California at Berkeley, the scent of a man boosted women's sexual arousal, mood, heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.
It's Never Too Late. Even if having sex is something you do only on birthdays and Bastille Day, you can always get back on the stick. All you have to do is You may have to force yourself at first, but the more you do it, the more you want to do it. Start with once a month, then once a week, and who knows? Maybe you'll be a once-a-day woman. Follow this plan to makeover your sex life in 14 days. Phone Sex Is Worth trying. It's the next best thing to being there, but not that many forty-somethings know it. According to a survey by AARP, only 17 percent of men and 18 percent of women between the ages of 45 and 49 have had phone sex.
Check out 9 more ways to feel closer in 5 minutes. Nobody Does it Better Than You. You can lie around waiting for your partner to bring you to orgasm, but you'll get there a lot faster if you take care of it yourself. When women masturbate, they typically climax in less than 4 minutes.
When they're engaged in foreplay and intercourse, it can take 20 minutes. Your best bet for a speedy climax: using a vibrator. And when you do, consider the environment with these 8 ecofriendly sex toys. Fantasy Is Fabulous. If your regular sex routine is a little stale, invite Johnny Depp and his pirate hat into bed with you.
Losing yourself in a sex fantasy spices up the real thing, and boosts your overall sex drive. Sharing certain fantasies can add even more zip. In a ABC News poll, more than half of all men and women said they talk about their fantasies to boost their sex lives. The most common fantasies? Unexpected sex, threesomes, and sex at work.
Find out what your strangest sex preferences say about youand how they help your relationship. The best thing about getting older is that you can do—or not do—whatever you want. Say it nicely, and your partner should understand if you've got a headache or you want to binge-watch House of Cards instead of making love. Unless, of course, the marathon—or the headache—is a weekly event. Size Matters—to Him. A survey of 50, heterosexual men and women showed that the vast majority of women 85 percent felt satisfied by their man's size, while nearly half of all men 45 percent were unhappy with their package.
Let him know he's all you need. He Doesn't Care Money Isn't Everything Women who had wealthy husbands or boyfriends reported having more orgasms than those who didn't, according to a survey by the University of Newcastle in England. Good Kissing Is a Good. Studies show that women tend to assess a relationship by how skilled his smooching is. And they're more likely to have sex with a man who does it well. Check out the best reason to share a kiss or more!
Ladies First. You're likely to be eager—if not aching—to give right after you've received. So everyone wins if he gets you off first.
Intercourse Doesn't Cut it. In case you thought you were the only one, you'll want to know that nearly one-third of women don't have orgasms during intercourse. That's because thrusting rarely stimulates the clitoris, our most reliable source for the ultimate pleasure. Less Sex Means More Work. If you're not having sex, what are you doing with your time? Chances are, you're working more.
Men and women both turn to work to fill the void when they have sex less than once a week, according to a survey of 32, people by the University of Gottingen in Germany. Do you really think you look hot with your shirt buttoned up to your chin? Or a T-shirt shrouding your tankini? Get over yourself already. You may have stretch marks and spider veins everywhere else, but with the right support, your boobs can still hold their own.
So let 'em show, and you'll feel sexier than you have in a long time. Making the First Move It's Not You Contrary to popular belief, men aren't always ready and raring to go—especially middle-aged men. Many go through their own form of menopause as their testosterone levels start to drop.
After the age of 40, testosterone levels decline approximately 1 percent per year, with a steep drop between the ages of 45 and So if he takes longer or is less gung-ho, go easy on him…and yourself.How to fuck women over 40
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