Added: Kasaundra Scheerer - Date: 10.03.2022 03:37 - Views: 45750 - Clicks: 9879
My innermost thoughts and feelings are being shared with their partners, and it leaves me feeling vulnerable. So do I just start keeping things to myself? It can be challenging to adjust to having your one-on-one friendship shift to being part of a triangle.
There is loss in this for you, to be sure. I can, however, relate to your friends making this choice.
In my life, my husband is primary, and our marriage has benefited from this prioritisation. I appreciate that, if there is an important piece of information I am processing about a friend, I can bring it to my husband to get his perspective.
Similarly, there came a turning point where I knew I was no longer sharing what was going on with me with just my girlfriends; they would be bringing this information home to their spouses — which makes sense, if they also consider their partners their primary relationship. Ideally, it is less that they are gossiping about you, and more that they care enough about you to want to discuss your wellbeing with each other. There may well be a day soon when your friends will understand that you discuss what they have shared with your partner, knowing hopefully that your partner loves them as much as you do.
And that instead of getting the insight, empathy and support from only one of you, they get it double-barrel, from both of you. This is what it is to be friends with couples: ultimately, you get double the love. Ask Alanis Morissette Life and style. Ask Alanis: my best friends now share my secrets with their spouses.
Photograph: Franck Allais for the Guardian.
Alanis Morissette. Fri 11 Mar Ask Alanis Morissette: my friend has become my boss. Will it work?. Reuse this content.Looking for someone to share my secrets
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Asking for a Friend: Help! My best friend spilled all my secrets - how do I let her go?