Added: Reena Foshee - Date: 09.10.2021 22:28 - Views: 16657 - Clicks: 4584
So, I just went. I used to wonder why, but now I think I know. Friendships change as life changes. As we get older we break out of our kids depending on us as they did when they were younger. They now depend on us in different ways, they screw up, we screw up, our marriages feel hard, and we wonder where the chunk of time went that looked so full of promise.
Some mornings I look at my teenagers and it feels like the bubble that was so full of promise popped and life got a little harder. As women enter their 40s and 50s we still want friends— good friends— because that desire never changes. But we need different things out of our friendships because life is different. We want someone we can trust with the deepest of secrets and can be there without judgment if we find out our kids are experimenting with drugs, failing a class or have an eating disorder.
We are over being lectured to or given unsolicited advice. We want raw honesty that is helpful. Women want loyalty and safe people to talk to when their marriage feels off and is crumbling, or if they are starting out on their own for the first time in two decades and are scared to death of the future.
We want to be there for our girlfriends and want to feel that warmth in return. In the back of our minds we know the time with our children is going to be cut down dramatically so when we step out to get a reprieve from family time, it needs to be with someone who sees us, really sees us, or we are left feeling lonely. We have a stronger sense of self and need someone who matches that energy— things like gossiping about other friends or being petty are the exact things we teach out kids not to do so when that happens, we want to run the other way and spend our time with those who uplift us, not people who bring us down.
We can now detect bullshit coming at us a mile away. We can smell false promises and empty invitations. We wish to spend our time with women who mean what they say and expect us to stay true to what we say. I think what happens on the cusp of sending kids to college, deciding to make your marriage work, or let it all fall apart, going back to work or continuing on your career path during all the other changes is, we realize something.
We realize we have people, like our parents or sisters, that we did not chose.
And we realize we have friends that we can choose. We can choose to welcome them in our life, or we can ask them to leave. Katie Bingham-Smith lives in Maine with her three. She is a Staff Writer at Scary Mommyshoe addict and pays her kids to rub her feet.
And, yet, in my darkest hour, I have—pretty much—zero true friends. Yes, zero.
How can that be, you probably wonder? You, who thinks little…. Continue Reading. I talked to my best friend last week for almost three hours. Of course, this was not by choice but we know how this works—talks have to be scheduled since we are both busy moms in our 40s who are trying to fit it all in and get some….
A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a tweet in my feed. I was connected to this Twitter member only through retweets and likes. As is the way with much of social media, if others had not reacted to the post, I mostly likely would never have seen it. But I did. And once I…. As the daylight hours get shorter and the weather turns colder, it seems like we all want to stay in and keep to ourselves a bit more.
This year has been such a tough one and has put a strain on so many of us. I was the same in college and when I entered the workforce. My female friends were a huge priority to me…. Our normally quiet basement is a hub of activity since my husband decided to makeover the spare room for when our oldest daughter returns from college for visits. Imagine the theme song from Golden Girls. Then I had close friends with whom I went through middle school. I developed a different set of friends in high school.
I left college with a few close friends and I later bonded…. I walk with my friend every day. We walk just enough to raise our heart rates and soothe our souls.
We walk just enough to vent the accumulated bile and open the valve on our frustrations so that we can put on a happier face at home. There is so little going on but so…. But a few days ago, when my…. Friend's Address. Your Name. Send. At least that was my experience. Facebook Pin Tweet. posts by Katie. Don't miss out! Up. You, who thinks little… Continue Reading. Those… Continue Reading. Of course, this was not by choice but we know how this works—talks have to be scheduled since we are both busy moms in our 40s who are trying to fit it all in and get some… Continue Reading.
And once I… Continue Reading. My female friends were a huge priority to me… Continue Reading. I left college with a few close friends and I later bonded… Continue Reading.
There is so little going on but so… Continue Reading. But a few days ago, when my… Continue Reading. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Instagram. Share this Article Like this article? it to a friend!Mom needs some friends
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Why We Absolutely Need Mom Friends